Faith, Self

Why Being Single in Your 20’s Can Be Powerful

“…why rush until you know what you are bringing to the table?”

Most girls today think of being single as a “weakness”, I know at least for me I did at one point. Because growing up as a millennial, there has been such a “standard” set on friendships, relationships, careers, education, faith, social status… The list could go on and on.  However, I feel that there actually is something so powerful and impressive about being single in your twenties nowadays.

Something that is not only admirable but rewarding to those that are willing to accept the fact that they don’t have that significant other many are longing for. Many don’t realize that maybe being single at this crucial time in our life could not only be a blessing, but also be extremely beneficial for self-love and development towards who you are longing to become.   Being single in your twenties is not the end of the world, even though sometimes (guilty as charged) we may believe it to be.

Coming from a girl who always has wanted a relationship and has always wanted that “someone” to care for, it is hard to say that I do not want this in my life.  But what I can say is that I have found it to be extremely satisfying truly getting to understand myself, my goals, my faith, and where I want to go with this crazy thing we call life.  I have began to look at the freeness in my life as a time for growth, appreciation towards myself, and most importantly, closeness to God, and it has positively influenced my life.

Recently, I have struggled with the fact that I am still single.  I see so many of my friends in serious relationships, people from high school getting married, and it is hard to not think to myself “why can’t that be me?” or “why am I not there yet?”  I have battled with these thoughts a lot my first few years of college, and let me tell you it was not easy.  It still isn’t easy.  Yet, I have came to terms with the fact that this is where I am at, and I have built on it.  I have thought of many reasons as to why this is an advantage and it is actually helping me in ways I haven’t even realized yet.

You Can Travel Wherever You Want

A lot of times, when you are in a relationship, you have to work around each other’s schedule, and sometimes, that can be very limiting.  That’s why traveling when you are single, and still young and spontaneous, can be so captivating.  Seeing new parts of your country, and the world, can help you become appreciative of cultures, and reinvent yourself.   You get to experience a new perspective of the world, and completely take it in HOW YOU WANT TO, with no other opinions.

You Can Invest In Your Education

Let’s face it.  We all are trying to develop our futures, and relationships do take up SO much time.  Not saying that a relationship can’t be beneficial, but if you are in the wrong one (or a pointless one), it is only going to hold you back.  If you aren’t growing with that person, it isn’t worth it.  Take the time to develop your skills, and expand on the subjects you are interested.  Go get the degree you dream of, or try and start that business you envision.  Never stop acquiring knowledge and advancing what you know.  This not only makes you more appealing to that one person you really want in your life, you’ll also be a more interesting individual and have more drive in life.

You Get To Discover Who You Really Are, Find Your Purpose, and Pursue It

Self-discovery is not only super intimate, but something that has to be done alone in order to fully happen.  Life can become more so much more meaningful once you figure out who you are and what you are called to do.  And once you finally know where you’re going, it is so much easier to create space for that special person once they come along.  Sometimes, people lose their identity in a relationship, I know I did.  That is because I wasn’t really sure who I was or what I wanted yet, I was easily influenced.  But once you push past that “being-accepted by others phase” and move towards a “self-discovery phase” you finally stop looking for acceptance from anyone but yourself, and that can be so exciting.  The best time to be in a relationship is when you don’t need one, so why rush until you know what you are bringing to the table?

You Have Complete Freedom To Build Your “Circle”

Have you ever been in a relationship with someone who gets jealous, doesn’t want you with certain friends, or is always wondering what you are doing when you are not with them?  Well, I have.  I was once that person, and I have dated someone like that, I have been on both sides of the spectrum.  Insecurities can make you completely controlling, vulnerable, and constantly worried… and what is fun about that? Nothing.  Being single in your twenties can help you get rid of those insecurities, and help connect you with like-minded individuals.  It should be spent developing those friendships and being with those who make you feel alive, and successful.

You Can Deepen Your Faith With God

Some of you might not relate to this, but I know many of you will and that is why I still included it. Faith with Him can be a major journey.  A journey of obstacles, and many highs and lows.  However, solely investing in yourself can mean solely investing in your faith and Your Savior.  Countless times in scripture does it mention how if we seek Him first, everything will work out?  If we seek developing ourselves and not worrying about others will our plans all unravel?  God is there for us, even if we aren’t in complete trust with Him, He is still there.  He never leaves us, even in our seasons of changing.  Matthew 6:33 states “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”  Proverbs 31:25 states “She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”  Proverbs 3:5-6 states “Trust in the Lord, with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will set your paths straight.”   Countless of times does the bible state that if we just lean on Him, He will make our dreams come true.  His plan is the plan we need to follow, but we can only follow it if we submit ourselves solely to Him and trust in His power.  And what better time to fully trust in Him then when we are in our “self-discovery phase” and focusing on ourselves, and only ourselves?

You Can Develop Self-Love

How can you fully love someone else if you aren’t truly happy with who you are?  Self love is often overlooked as being dramatic, but actually, it is extremely important.  Nowadays, with Instagram, Twitter, The news and everything in between, it is hard to feel satisfied in who you are, that is no doubt. But, when you are in the beginning of developing a relationship, you are in the stage of trying to “impress them”.  How can you impress someone if you don’t even love who you are yet?  Self love doesn’t mean you have a big ego, it means you are confident in who you are.  You are confident in your flaws, you have accepted them, and you are motivated despite the obstacles that come your way.  What is more attractive than someone who is completely self-reliant and fearless?

Now, I am not saying this has been an easy thing to accept.  It has probably been 3 weeks of me trying to get my thoughts into a blog post, and a 6 month journey of coming to terms with the fact that I am single.  But now that I am beginning to accept that I am not in a relationship, I can now fully invest in myself, my family, school, my friendships, my passion, and my God.

My life has improved, immensely.  My happiness has dramatically skyrocketed, my friendships are developing, my grades our improving, my self-love is at an all-time high, and my faith is greater than ever before.  Was this an easy adjustment for me? No.  But has it been worth it?  Yes.  Being single in your twenties might not be the norm for us millennials.  Not having a super cute fall insta post with your significant other might kind of suck.

But, being single at this time in our lives can be extremely important, beneficial, and moving to our mental health.  Being single in your twenties is not something to be ashamed of, but more-so something to take pride in.  Enjoy your life, go on an adventure, and experience something new.  You deserve it!

With all that I am,

Nicole 

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