“Social media is training us to compare ourselves, instead of appreciating everything we already are.”
Hello beautiful people,
It’s been a minute, hasn’t it? I do not think I have posted on the blog since mid-May and I truly apologize. I was so used to blogging every week, sharing my life journey, and opening up that I forgot how good it felt to write blog like this. But… It was a very necessary break. Life was extremely busy for me. Working 40+ hours a week was overwhelming, I was enrolled full time in school, and to be transparently honest with you all… I couldn’t find the time to blog. I couldn’t handle keeping up with getting good grades, staying healthy, being positive, seeing my friends, reading my bible, saving money, the list could go on and on. All in all, I was beginning to feel a lack of motivation. Normally, I had been so proud of my work ethic and motivation, so what was going on? And after much evaluation, and soul searching within my daily life… I found the root to many of my problems. And as crazy as it sounds, I believe that the issue was with how I personally was viewing and using social media.
I know how basic that sounds… I also know how typical it is to be addicted to posting cute/cool boomerangs, and how it feels to be getting trapped in social media, because well… Isn’t everyone these days? Isn’t everyone posting the best selfies nonstop? Or trying to become fit because of all the IG “fitspos”? Or even deleting pictures because they didn’t get enough “likes”? I know you might be rolling your eyes right now at how crazy/ridiculous these topics might sound but I am almost positive that you have felt this way about one or the other. The fact is, I have felt this way about every single topic. I have deleted pictures because I was embarrassed I did not get enough likes. I have taken 10947384439809 selfies trying to get the perfect one. And I have also found myself defining my worth based on all of these things. It is sad. It is crazy. And it is ridiculous, but prior to this summer, I based my worth off of these things. And not until I finally said it “out loud” to myself, did I begin to realize how little it truly mattered.
Around the end of June or early July I began to see how this was such an issue. I was shaming myself, going on crazy (and unattainable diets), working out 2-3 times a day, and truly NOT living life. I didn’t feel like I could splurge by having a beer, or one piece of pizza, or not working out because then I felt like I wouldn’t “look good enough” anymore. I was no longer living the “balanced lifestyle” that I was always so proud of. Which is why I needed a social media detox for the summer.
Now don’t get me wrong, I still went on social media. I still sent my friends snapchats, I still took boomerangs, and I still posted on Instagram quite often. The difference is I quit how I was previously using social media and took a new look on what it really meant. I stopped taking selfies for validation. I stopped only posting pictures that I felt were “good enough” to post. And I stopped setting requirements for what was and what was not right to post. You see… The root of the problem in society is we think that there is “social media standards”. It is like we think you have to look a certain way, post a certain amount, and require a certain amount of likes/attention/whatever you would like to call it. I’ll admit it, I felt that way. And sometimes, I still do. But quitting social media this summer helped me come to one very important realization: you are who you say you are. You are either scared, or fearless. You are either confident or self-conscious. You are either you or you are what they say you are. Yes, we will all still have insecurities. Yes we will all have some fears. And yes, we will all doubt ourselves. But it is how you view yourself through those tough times. It is how you choose to work through those insecurities, fears, and doubts. And I truly believe that veering away from the societal norms and making your own social media norms is where the positivity, radiance, and self love begins to bloom.
With that said, here are 4 “social media mantras” that helped me ditch the BS social media of this era, embrace myself, and recreate social media the way that I wanted it to be.
- I am going to post what I want, when I want, and how I want. Why do I care what other people think?
- When I look back on my social media, I don’t just want to see selfies, I want to see memories.
- I do not need validation from anyone but myself and the Lord.
- I am much more than what people perceive me to be. I know my intentions, I know my worth, and I know who I am. I have nothing to prove.
I know how ridiculous some insecurities can sound, believe me, I felt ridiculous writing some of this blog. But also, I felt relieved after writing it. I am here to tell you that you are not alone, and once you realize that many others are going through the same thing as you, growth begins to happen. Write about it, talk about it, do something about it. Find your way to work through these insecurities and watch yourself become so much more than you could ever imagine. I love you all.
With all that I am,
PS – I am going to start posting once a week now that I feel more balanced, confident, and more “Nicole” again. 🙂 I am happy to be writing again, connecting again, and ultimately, journeying again with you all.
PPS – If you ever need a person to reach out to, I am always here to get coffee, listen, and chat. 🙂